finding my niche
my 'niche' or for the layman, 'my place in the world.' i pronounce the word like nitch however ive heard it pronounced like 'neeeesh,' so choose whatever you like.
anyways, about that niche. with my move back to austin i knew i would need/want to find a church to go to and need/want to find some things to get involved in. this is easier said than done and i guess i even had a small advantage over some since i was at least familiar with austin. i think the hardest part about moving to a new place and having to find new things to occupy the time in your life is having to replace the old stuff. and with that, realizing that although something isnt the same, doesnt necessarily make it not as good.
for instance ive been trying to find an inner city ministry to get involved in. so ive checked out a couple of things here and there and i find myself discouraged and unexcited bc i want so bad to find something like YI...or maybe i just wanna find YI...and maybe i just want to find the same kids and the same leaders too and obviously that isnt going to happen...bc theyre in cs...and im here. but in my frustration the Lord kindly reminds me that the inner city in austin needs jesus too. and austins a lot bigger so maybe i need to just be content knowing that inner city b/cs is being ministered to and do my part to start ministering in austin. i know that im going to find something here to be a part of and maybe its going to be nothing like YI...at thats ok.
finding a church can be a process too. and i think its partly bc i expect the process to be easier. ideally i would like to walk into a church and have God bellow out from heaven and say 'k..a...t..e....a..t.t.e..n..d...h.e..r..e' the letter spacing is the best way for me to convey my idea of what i think it would be like if I heard God talking to me. the deep, slow talking voice thats in movies and cartoons, ya know? anyways...i would basically just like for God to tell me where to go to church..this might have something to do with my indecisiveness.. but life doesnt work like that...so i have to make the decision myself. so i have to ask myself...is this where I feel like im supposed to be? but honestly, what does that mean? 'where i'm 'supposed' to be', 'where God is calling me to be' etc etc...what determines that? i think people, including myself, can get too wrapped up in christian lingo and think that by throwing in a couple of christian lined phrases that the world will make sense and the solutions to our problems will be justified...
ive now gone off on my own tangent that doesnt make a lot of sense in writing but makes sense in my head. the journal is good for me bc as im trying to figure out how to word things, it makes me ponder what i really am thinking and although im usually unsuccessful at conveying what i want to say...it has become clearer in my mind. so i apologize that you, the reader, probably have no clue as to what im getting at, but know that its revealed itself clearer to me.
bottom line...i still havent found a church to attend regularly or a ministry to get involved in but thats ok bc i know that theres something for me here..and im going to find it.
anyways, about that niche. with my move back to austin i knew i would need/want to find a church to go to and need/want to find some things to get involved in. this is easier said than done and i guess i even had a small advantage over some since i was at least familiar with austin. i think the hardest part about moving to a new place and having to find new things to occupy the time in your life is having to replace the old stuff. and with that, realizing that although something isnt the same, doesnt necessarily make it not as good.
for instance ive been trying to find an inner city ministry to get involved in. so ive checked out a couple of things here and there and i find myself discouraged and unexcited bc i want so bad to find something like YI...or maybe i just wanna find YI...and maybe i just want to find the same kids and the same leaders too and obviously that isnt going to happen...bc theyre in cs...and im here. but in my frustration the Lord kindly reminds me that the inner city in austin needs jesus too. and austins a lot bigger so maybe i need to just be content knowing that inner city b/cs is being ministered to and do my part to start ministering in austin. i know that im going to find something here to be a part of and maybe its going to be nothing like YI...at thats ok.
finding a church can be a process too. and i think its partly bc i expect the process to be easier. ideally i would like to walk into a church and have God bellow out from heaven and say 'k..a...t..e....a..t.t.e..n..d...h.e..r..e' the letter spacing is the best way for me to convey my idea of what i think it would be like if I heard God talking to me. the deep, slow talking voice thats in movies and cartoons, ya know? anyways...i would basically just like for God to tell me where to go to church..this might have something to do with my indecisiveness.. but life doesnt work like that...so i have to make the decision myself. so i have to ask myself...is this where I feel like im supposed to be? but honestly, what does that mean? 'where i'm 'supposed' to be', 'where God is calling me to be' etc etc...what determines that? i think people, including myself, can get too wrapped up in christian lingo and think that by throwing in a couple of christian lined phrases that the world will make sense and the solutions to our problems will be justified...
ive now gone off on my own tangent that doesnt make a lot of sense in writing but makes sense in my head. the journal is good for me bc as im trying to figure out how to word things, it makes me ponder what i really am thinking and although im usually unsuccessful at conveying what i want to say...it has become clearer in my mind. so i apologize that you, the reader, probably have no clue as to what im getting at, but know that its revealed itself clearer to me.
bottom line...i still havent found a church to attend regularly or a ministry to get involved in but thats ok bc i know that theres something for me here..and im going to find it.
posted by Kate at 4:12 PM
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