what are you waiting for?

i heard an excerpt from a book called 'when wallflowers dance' by angela thomas. it was about waiting in line. but not like a movie theater line, but the line of your life. everyone is in that line and everyone is always waiting on something whether its waiting for a new job, for marriage (or even a relationship, for that matter :), for a new chapter of life to begin, for whatever. and everyones lines intersect and sometimes you jump into someone elses line when it seems more appealing. but its not about what youre waiting for that matters, its how you wait. are you waiting patiently or are you frustrated that you arent at the front of the line? are you interacting with the other people 'in line' with you and making the most of the situation or are you keeping to yourself with an 'every man for himself' mentality? ill be the first to say im not in the waiting patiently line most of the time...some other girls and i were discussing it and i liked what my friend julie said. she feels like she gets to the front of the line but then shes missing something and gets sent to the back again. i thought that was a great way to think of it bc how true it is. how frustrating is it when youre in a real line and youre missing that one piece of paper or that one bit of information and youre told to come back again when you have it all together? i think that life is like that a lot when we try to take control of our lives and think that we have it all together and then the Lord says, no..not yet. and its frustrating..but we still get back in line and try again until we realize that that one thing we're missing is the sacrifice of our pride enabling us to give the ultimate control to Him. and another thing...waiting isnt passive although one might normally think of it that way. you wont get anywhere by just standing there and doing nothing.

all this to say, im in line for a new job. in terms of job satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10, id say mine is probably a 3...on a good day. and the thing is i havent been extremely satified for quite a while and im still here, however a big part of that was my mindset and the way i was 'standing in line.' with the front of the line being me quitting and getting a new job, i have been making excuses for why i dont think i can leave...in a way, being that person that waves to the person next to them and says, 'you go ahead.' all the while...pushing myself farther and farther back. but some recent things have made me realize that basically, its ok to leave. everyone knows im bored outta my mind and are probably surprised i havent left by now anyways. but yeah, its ok to leave...its what happens...people quit...new people get hired...and everything continues on just the same. but like i said before, this whole waiting thing isnt passive...it requires active searching on my part for something different...no ones going to come knocking on my door with a job opportunity in a box with a bow on it addressed to me. but that new job isnt going to happen overnite either..its going to require more waiting on my part and so now its more important that im aware of how im waiting. i need to be patient, knowing that the Lord will provide something new for me when it's time. He has a plan for everyone's life, although i do think sometimes people worry too much about knowing whether theyre 'in His plan' or not. regardless, there's a plan..and this life we're living...that's it.

so how are you living it?