permission to fire

i had my one year performance review with my boss two days ago. first off, can we believe that ive actually been here an entire year? i cant. ive probably considered quitting about 82 times and yet im still here. i think the stable income is the only thing thats kept me here honestly.

so the review. it didnt go so well. well, maybe i shouldnt say that...my boss thinks im doing great...gave me a nice, high "exceptional" score and everything. its when we started talking freely that it all went downhill and i might have given the company permission to fire me...

she first asked "so, do you like your job?"
my answer: *loooong pause* probably a little too long...followed by a feeble and very unconvincing "yeah..."
she asked me what i didnt like and i said "sales." yeah, sales is my job basically and i didnt really mean that i hated my job completely..just the answering the phone part and dealing with customers. ive been in the service industry for over 6 yrs and i have learned that i just hate it. but anyways...everything i said came out wrong and more harsh than i intended and for every sentence i said, i would spend about 5 minutes backtracking.

my boss talked about how the company wants to be more proactive in selling...hearing proactive and selling in one sentence basically makes me cringe all over. so she talked about that for a while and i told her that i totally understood the reasoning - that yeah, the company probably would benefit from some proactive selling etc. then i basically said that if it were to come to them asking me to do that then i wouldnt be able to stay and i would understand if they needed to let me go. WHO DOES THAT? who tells their boss - its ok if you wanna fire me...

so all to say...
my boss now knows that i dont have a lot to do and that i basically hate my job.
i might be fired any day now
if i find a job before that happens and decide to quit, at least it wont come as a shock to my boss

so my boss is going outta town all next week. my mission: find a new job.