and what do YOU want to be when you grow up?

this question always haunted me. maybe because for the last 24 years of my life ive never had an answer except for, "um...um....i dunno.." its like when youre in your senior year or 5th or 6th year of college and you start getting the age old question of, "so, what are your plans after college?" my response was usually, "um...um...i dunno.." see a trend? yeah, and then the question is followed up by, "well, what do you like?" "what are you good at?" etc etc. and yeah, i had answers to that but how do you make a job out of puppies, cute boys, food, and shopping? just kidding. my point is that yeah i have interests and things that im kinda good at i think but ive never thought of that one job and been like, YES that is what i wanna do. some people know that they are going to be a teacher or a fireman from age two. me, on the other hand, as a kid thought that being a bagger at alberstons would be fun. why? i have no idea - i guess the idea of being surrounded by food all day was appealing. well, 10 years later and then 6 years after that i found myself at heb hating my life. i had found that the bagging groceries life wasnt as fun as i had imagined it to be at age 6.

all to say, ive graduated college and am not in my dream job. in fact some days its closer to a nightmare. however, it allows me to pay my rent each month as i continue to search out my 'dream job.' and i think i have finally come up with a job that yeah, maybe i actually wanna do. *insert gasps, open jaws, and wide-eyed stares here* i think i wanna be a wedding photographer. i had thrown out the idea in earlier posts but now i think im serious. i love photography and weddings and taking pictures of people, so why not? im quickly learning that its not something you drop your career for and pursue though. its an art and it takes years of practice, plenty of time, and lots of trial and error to master. however, im willing to give it a shot and i figure - if i end up not liking it then ill quit. i wont have lost much, but will have gained experience and will be able to still use that in other areas. so thats that. my first official try at this is in november for my friend heather. for some reason she has entrusted me to her wedding and im already praying that i dont screw up.

so theres that. its pretty exciting to be honest. to for once have an idea of what you want to do with your life - thats a good feeling.