what do you get when you take a little girl from korea, adopt her at 5 months, and raise her in a white family? me. here are my profound thoughts. enjoy them.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
should be sleeping
wow..i work in less than four hours...why am i not sleeping?
here's some things to think about... "We were meant to live for so much more...Have we lost ourselves?"-switchfoot"
Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."-Ephesians 4:19-24
i think as Christians we sometimes compromise our values because we, in a sense, lower our standards because we claim the title 'christian.' ok that didnt make sense...work with me here. like...we can joke about things and do things that arent necessarily wrong, but at the same time dont really glorify the Lord and justify it because we claim our intentions arent the same as say, non christians. however, i think christians are held to a higher standard, but are we really holding each other to that?? i can see why non christians are skeptical of christianity. we're hypocrites. i'm one. We are given the gift of salvation and eternal life and all the Lord wants is that we strive for holiness, seek the truth and live by it. By no means do I think that this is an easy task. its a daily struggle. if i had to choose whether the Lord was going to say 'well done, my good and faithful servant,' or have a disappointed look on His face...i would probably go with the latter most days. We WERE meant to live for so much more...can we keep each other accountable to that???
so you see those marks in my arms? yeah, you just think im donating plasma...ok just kidding...im not talking about those kinds of addictions.
first let me start with a very addictive game called buck wild. eileen introduced it to the group and its incredibly intense and you quickly learn who in your group of friends suffers from memory loss the most. you also learn that everyone needs to take world geography again. you sometimes hestitate to guess to save yourself from possibly saying something that will make you look completely incompetent. however, some people dont hestitate so much...guessing games are the best though because you NEVER know what is going to come outta peoples mouths. this particular game revealed that poor rielly and ben were deprived of learning fairy tales correctly in their childhood. i mean, im sure a lot of people get hansel and gretel mixed up with 'frank and gretchen'...oh i love laughing till the tears come...great game....great game...
another problem i have lately is buying cds. i dont even know where this desire came from...i dont have any money...my budget got throw out the window in a heartbeat. ive bought like 5 cds within the last 2 weeks. really not necessary - gotta stop. just a bit of advice - dont go to hastings just to 'look around' - youll inevitably find yourself at the checkout counter with cds galore and not even remembering picking them up. joss stone - didnt like her at first, but she grew on me - and the cd is incredible. big head todd - live monsters. i like the group to begin with and anything live is usually great. i wish more artists would come out with live cds.
so addictions...yeah, i go thru weird phases where i trick myself into believing that i really need a certain something or i'll die. last semester it was athletic shorts - i think i was influenced by patin...i think he has enough basketball shorts to clothe welsh ave. but yeah, shorts last semester, cds now, what next? hopefully something cheaper...or at least something good for me...like...food with less than 400 calories per serving...
i have the greatest friends in the world. ive never felt more loved than i did this past weekend. my birthday celebrating started friday - 3 days early and just kept going!!! and so im going to take the time right now to recognize and personally thank all these people b/c being the greatest friends in the world - its the least i can do.
*kel - i dont think ive ever met someone who gets so excited about someone elses birthday! from the bday pretzles to great cards to wonderful strawberry cake to quality bonding time in the car - i couldnt have asked for a better time - you're wonderful! i'll monkey roll, steamroll, and spoon with you anytime, fire breathing dragon!
*christian, eileen, and rielly - my bucket 'o' fun is amazing. every present is so personal and it shows how close yall are to me. i love how most of it revolves around food! christian - you had sooo much going on and still went outta your way to make my birthday extra special. i love your family and i love mishearing things with you and laughing till we cry! you're so great - i miss you already!!!!! eileen - thank you so much for giving me a birthday party in dallas!!! i love road trips and it was worth every minute - i had so much fun - you're the best!!! rielly - thanks for navigating us thru dallas yesterday and today and for directing us to the smoothies. im glad we get to hang this summer in cs!!
*halbert - thanks for coming friday even though you were moving into your house - im so glad you got to eat pizza with us..i know its your favorite!
*petie - i enjoyed laughing with you all nite long especially when we got to watch ben vacuum our entire house. thanks for coming!!
*brink - so glad you got to come. im sad i dont see you more often but its always so good when i do. thanks for taking part in the moving party too!
*ben and bryan - pumpernickel, fruity tiramisu, mischevious faces, thinking yall were the experts in interior decorating, running around the apt. complex for 20 minutes, incorporating 'celebrating kates birthday AGAIN' into every prayer and conversation, and the list goes on...bryan - thanks for driving, not that anyone actually had a choice in the matter, and thanks for coming despite 'all of the things you had to do'...ben - thanks for doing all the things you do that keeps the rest of us entertained. yall made the trip a lot of fun and im so glad that yall came.
yall are the greatest friends ever and i love you guys!!! thanks again for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I love mission kids for a variety of reasons, one in particular would be their honesty and 'bluntness'. Take for example a recent phone call I had starting with me answering the phone:- "hello?" -"pick me up" -"hello??" -"come pick me up!" -"who is this?" -"dominque...come pick me up" -"oh..hi dominque, how are ya?" -"kate, i'm bored..come pick me up!"
...I mean, I love stuff like this. Dominque didn't waste time with small talk - no, hi, how are you?..she got straight to the point. No beating around the bush...I didn't have to wonder what she wanted, why she was calling. Oh no, her intentions were clear from the get go. Gotta love it. Sometimes fancy rhetoric and multi-syllabled words are good, but other times, low context conversations are great. No analyzing needed, no question of intentions...and that's why i love mission kids...
I have a fort. I'm about to turn 23 and I have a fort in my room. In my defense I can say that I didn't like voluntarily put it together - my future roommate Eileen moved some stuff in, including her mattresses and put them up against my bunkbed. However, there is a vacant room across the hall that I could put them in, but let's be honest...forts are awesome. It reminds of when I would actually voluntarily make them whether it started with a refrigerator box to sit in or my bed and lots of sheets and rope. Forts aren't a joke. There are usually passwords and ridiculous rules to obey. As a kid they are an escape from the parents and siblings; it's like your first apartment when you're 8. Now it's just an escape from my roommates. Just kidding. I let them play in it too, mostly because it's extremely entertaining to watch anyone try to get in and out. The slats of my bunkbed aren't too wide - it makes it that much more of a challenge. I also bought flavor-ice pops today. Another childhood memory. Green is my favorite flavor but to my roommates green means 'great big mistake' b/c I kinda told them if they ate the green ones then I would stab them in their sleep with frozen ice pops. Not stab in a killing sort of way, more like poke in an irritating way just to remind them that they shouldn't have eaten a green one. I don't like blue or pink so they're allowed to eat all of those...I feel like that's fair. I guess I should get some sleep - gotta get rested up for a day of playing outside. Rielly is gonna teach us how to ball. Should be interesting...
There's just something about summers in college station that I love. Maybe it's how there's less traffic, shorter lines at restaurants, less people that you're obligated to call everytime you want to hang out...maybe a little bit of everything. I don't know what it is, but I can honestly say that if you have good friends in town with you then it's a great time. I love summer. Work a little. Play outside in the 150 degree weather and get real hot and sweaty and then jump in a pool, or even better a lake if you have access to one. Play some guitar. Go to some concerts. Read. This summer is going to be great. It's already off to a great start. Christian and I don't wake up till at least noon. Can't account for hours of the day, but that's ok because we don't even care. I can go to bed fully confident in the fact that i didn't really do anything, and be okay with that. If summer means doing nothing but somehow making the time to write 3 of these silly journal entries in one day then so be it. If summer means waking up late all to fill my days with movies and basketball games then even better. I love summer. And Peja...and Jermaine...and Allen...
Graduations and Weddings. Probably two of the most important events in someones life. Friday was graduation day. My roommate Christian and I both graduated. The difference however was that she graduated with honors and actually attended her graduation and I barely passed my classes and chose to sit out on this one. Her family all came in town and had a lil party for her complete with tons of food. That's where I come in...I love meeting peoples families and I love it when food comes along with it. Thanks to that party, we have enough food to eat for a week. But with the boys down the street coming down for every meal, maybe not. But yeah, we graduated. It's been a long time coming and it's almost anti-climactic for me since I don't have a great elaborate future in front of me yet. Oh well, at least I have a diploma with my name on it.
Weddings. It's that time in my life where it's normal to receive a wedding invitation every month or so and expect every weekend of your summer to be filled with a wedding to go to. Weddings are great...if you have a significant other then you can get excited and share in the idea of marrying that special someone. If youre single, although you are happy for your friends, it's also just a friendly reminder that you are single that turns into the small fear of 'am i going to be single forever and eventually become a nun?' Anyways..Harm and Sean's wedding. I was in the house party, or as Jose said, I was a 'house girl,' which honestly made me feel kinda dirty for a second...So house party...which is kinda like the jv of the wedding party, bridesmaids being varsity. But it's great because you still know you mean something to the bride to actually be a part of the wedding and you are delegated small responsibilities here and there, but you don't have to fork over all the money for a dress, shoes, alterations, a hairdo etc., go to all of the bridal showers, and don't have to worry about tripping down the aisle or fainting in front of hundreds of people during the wedding. It's a pretty good deal. The wedding was great...Sean shed some tears which in turn lead every girl in the church to cry too. Gotta love it. Harm was a beautiful bride and kept her composure well. Their wedding was great because it was like a college reunion. I got to see people I hadn't seen in a couple of years and that's always fun. So, mark that one down as a 'success'. No major catastrophes, no drunken relatives at the reception, a good cake, and a bunch of old friends. Congrats Sean and Harm. I know y'all are having a real good time on your honeymoon right now...
So, this is it. Life after college is the general term and now it actually should mean something to me. Two days ago, May 14th, I graduated from Texas A&M. It took me five years, but I did it. Everyone asks, "how does it feel?" How is it supposed to feel? "Good?" That's my typical response but really I'm thinking...It doesn't feel any different from any other day this year. I don't think the feeling is really going to change until everyone is buying books and sending in checks for ridiculous amounts for tuition and I'll get to say, 'ha..i don't have to do that anymore.' So that's why I'm starting this journal. I feel like this might be an important chapter in my life that I'm starting so wouldn't it be great if I had a written account of it that I can look over later and hopefully see progress in? Plus, I always start hand written journals and have great aspirations to write in them everyday but then it never fails...two weeks later and I've already forgotten I have a journal. So I don't know how consistent these entries will be, but I figure I spend a lot of wasted time on the computer so maybe it'll be easier to keep up with than paper.
So...summer..it has begun. It started with the normal end of the year camping/tubing trip. Camping was fun, tubing was...not as much fun. The first two hours weren't too bad. The sun came out for about 10 minutes and the water temperature was bearable. However, then the sun decided it was done for the day...the clouds took over, a little wind here and there, and everyone is officially cold and miserable. You see people with their arm hairs sticking straight up, parts of their body sporadically convulsing from the cold, and hear every girl complaining that they shaved their legs that day. So, maybe I exaggerate a little...sounds like it was the most agonizing and painful trip ever and it wasn't. Having friends around you to share in the artic waters definitely eased the pain a bit. But, I don't think anyone would argue that seeing the bus at the end of the 4 hour trip was like seeing a beam of heaven shine down to rescue us. Then the trip always ends with eating at the Gristmill in Gruene which of course is always great. Then it was time to go back home. Us girls packed into 'The Silver Bullet,' aka Eileen's rental minivan that we proudly rode in. Sleeping in your own bed is the best feeling after a trip like that. Especially when it's the type of sleep where you know you have absolutely no studying or homework that you have to do ever again!
